The Mixed Up Memories of Lily Evans
by When Inspiration Strikes
Summary: SNAPE/LILY • Being a witch means she loses her sister; not being enough witch means she might lose her best friend; but in having the best friend, she could lose the love of her life • A compilation of memories about her 3 most important relationships...
1. Babe

**Author's Note:**

**I randomly started writing these and then for some reason, couldn't stop - I think it's Summer Holidays instilled boredom.**

**These started out being stories about Lily/Snape, but I realised that it's never really explained how Lily goes from hating James' guts, to falling in love with him, so I included that too. And though Petunia's hate for Lily is fairly clear throughout the books, J.K. never explains Lily's feelings towards Petunia.**

**I'll include music that I think is particularly pertinent to what I'm writing, since that's always fun :P**

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**3rd Year - October 12th**

"NO!" Bellowed Lily as James Potter snatched at her bag to prevent her from turning her back.

"But we'd be great together!" He paused, waiting for a response, but got nothing more than struggling against his hold on her bag.

"Can't you take a HINT!" On the last word, Lily's strap on her bag split and it fell from her shoulder onto the floor. She had the horrible feeling that she had heard an inkbottle or two smash under the heavy books.

"Uhhh –" said James thickly, "sorry, babe." Lily's nostrils flared and her face went almost as red as her hair in the struggle to keep the fury under control.

"Do NOT." She began, and flicked her hair as she stalked away, "call me _babe_."

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**The next chapters are longer, promise :)**


	2. Lillies

**3rd year - October 14th**

"He is so infuriating!" She rambled, as she paced the dungeon from wall to wall, "I mean '_babe' – _who does he think he is!"

Snape glanced up from the fumes of the noxious concoction in front of him, "he's a rodent, Lily, he doesn't deserve to breath your air! Forget him." He checked that she had heard him over the bubbling of the potion, and established that she had due to the satisfied smile that twitched on her face. Snape smiled into the fumes, hoping that she wouldn't see it in the dim light.

"He left lilies in the common room for me in the morning with a stupid little note like: "Lilies for my own Lily" – I think someone told him that I like to get up early," she added with a murderous twinge to her voice, as if she was wondering how to punish the perpetrator. She glanced over at Snape's obscured head and then continued, "of course it might have been very romantic if he had actually bothered to find out that I don't like lilies."

"You don't?" Enquired Snape, trying to sound like he was only vaguely listening, but had actually stopped in the middle of scribbling something in the margin of the instructions to listen.

"No – I mean _sure _it's my name, so of _course _I would like lilies. _Naturally! _– Pfft, give me a br–"

"Right," interrupted Snape in a tone that was slightly sharper than he meant it to be, "but what _are _your favourites?"

Lily was taken aback, but then replied warily:

"Forget-me-nots."

Snape bent low over his potions book, making a new note in the corner of the page.


	3. Mudbloods

**4th year - April 17th**

Snape swooped along the hall towards Defence Against the Dark Arts; he was irritable and late, two things that Lily hated in people 'if you don't care enough to be on time for things, then why bother turning up at all?' she would say haughtily when this would happen, and she could always tell when he was moody 'your shoulders curve over you and you look like some sort of bat!' she had reprimanded the last time it happened.

He was just coming up on the corner of the Defence Against the Dark Arts room, when he suddenly tripped and skidded a good few feet. There was an eruption of giggles as a group of girls, headed by the Hufflefuff Grace Wittern, cackled in glee.

"You OK _Snivelus_?" One of them jeered, "wouldn't want you to be greasing up the floors with your slime." Snape straightened up with a calm defiance, and drew himself up to his full height.

"Well I'd rather that, than sully the blood of wizarding kind. Does it feel different to have dirt in your veins, _mudblood_?"

"I _trust _that I misheard you Mr. Snape!" trilled Professor Merrythought who was standing just outside the open classroom door, "however, a _double _detention, just in case I was mistaken!" She turned on her heel and strode back into the classroom looking disgruntled, as if a very good day had just gone down the drain. Snape, slightly pink around the ears, and feeling deeply ashamed shuffled in after her.

He had never called someone that. He had of course referred to muggle-borns as 'mudbloods' amongst his friends – Mulciver particularly took relish in imagining a Hogwarts without the likes of Grace Wittern. Snape took his place next to Lily, not looking at her. He knew she'd heard. She was looking straight ahead, looking stony.

"Lil –" she turned away from him to get her book and quill from her bag. He recognised this as a sign not to try to explain, and fell into silence.

The lesson progressed with not a word passing her lips – even to answer questions to which he knew she knew the answers. This was very unlike her, and made him unnerved. When it was time for lunch the bell rang and everyone started to pack away. Lily, however, had been seemingly surreptitiously slipping her things away as the lesson was nearing it's end so that she was able to get out of there as quickly as possible. She got up to leave immediately.

"Look, lily, I –" he reached out to her, "Don't touch me." She ordered. It wasn't a shout, or an angry hiss. She had said it quietly. Sadly .


	4. Potions Notes

**4th year - April 19th**

"You'll work yourself to death!" Muttered Avery as he levitated a mouse he had found in their dormitory. Snape looked up from _Magical Draughts and Potions _and glanced at the wriggling animal that was hovering less than a foot from Avery's wand, the owner of which was concentrating hard upon tying and untying the creature's tail in knots.

"No, I won't," Snape replied simply. He discarded _Magical Draughts and Potions _in favour of _Advanced Potions, _which sat on the chair beside him.

"I don't know why you bother with that book, Snape," drawled Avery, "We don't need to know about whatever is in there until sixth year, and I'll be damned if I stick with potions – Slughorn does my head in!"

"Right," said Snape, giving little mind to whatever Avery was going on about as he flicked from the Draught of Living Death, to Amortentia. '_Soaking _gardenia pods? Who has time for that?' Snape thought to himself as he scribbled a correction near the bottom of the already generously notated page "_Grind_ seventeen gardenia pods," he muttered under his breath.

"Eh?" Responded Avery, but Snape wasn't listening – he had just spotted something at the bottom of the page by his quill.

_Forget-me-nots._

Lily hadn't spoken to him for two days now. They had only had one lesson together since the 'mudblood' incident, but it was Care of Magical Creatures where her Griffindor admirers and friends would normally gravitate around her, having no seats to constrain them. She hadn't even glanced at him.

He remembered the days when he used to visit her table at meals and they'd laugh at Professor Kettleburn grabbing gravy instead of pumpkin juice, or pouring orange juice over his cornflakes. That never happened anymore – making friends in his own house meant having to give them up in Griffindor. Or at least appear to.


	5. Forgetmenot

**AN: A little song for the occasion- Isbells – My Apologies : youtube .com/watch?v=8UiG5ECjIfk **

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**4th year - April 23rd**

Lily strode out of Defense Against the Dark Arts without looking at Severus. He had been particularly vocal that lesson. The 'I'm sorry's and the 'please look at me's didn't seem to let up. Lily sighed with frustration. She wasn't still mad, how could she be after almost a whole week? It was just the _principle _of the thing. She didn't even _like _Grace, 'the pampered, wittering, self-obsessed–' she stopped herself. Grace was one of the 'Potter Princesses' as she liked to call them. Giggling and wittering on about how fabulous he is. 'Pfft', she thought. No doubt that's why she chose to pick on Sev, it's no secret that Potter doesn't like him.

She had reached Arithmancy at last. She took her seat and reached into her bag for her folder and quill, but her fingers brushed against something unexpected and she looked down. There was a single stem of forget-me-nots sitting atop her _Ancient Runes_ book. They were beautiful with their bright yellow centers and their almost perfectly circular, dainty petals.

"_I wish I had been named after these flowers, Tuny," _she had said once, having found them growing at the base of the park swings. She had crouched down and plucked a single tiny flower and held it in the palm of her hand, _"they're so pretty"_

_"But they're forget-me-nots!" _Giggled Petunia _"That would be a very silly name"_

_"Nobody else would be called forget-me-not though, then I would be very difficult to forget wouldn't I?" _Petunia looked at her sister for a second as if she was going crazy, but then cracked up with laughter. The sisters had rolled around laughing for at least five minutes. Lily gave a sad smile at the thought of her sister. That was the day Severus had told her she was a witch.


	6. Just Friends

**4th year - April 25th**

_Meet me by the pigmy suit of armour. _The note had read. Snape's heart leapt – finally she was calming down – the flowers must have worked.

…But what if they hadn't? He suddenly went cold – what if she had taken them the wrong way? What if she thought that he was just another one just like Potter, maybe trying to get one-up on him. She might be angry. He might have crossed a line – given her the wrong idea. All he wanted was for her to talk to him again, that's all! He wasn't like Potter – after her because she was beautiful, he just wanted his best friend back; his only companion who didn't expect something from him all the time. The only other person like that was Slughorn – a _teacher _for goodness sake, and he knew that all that relied on brilliance in potions, which he worked hard to maintain. But that was all just attention and a desire to 'collect', not _actual _affection like Lily's. He couldn't stand it if she rejected his friendship, how could he possibly function properly without her?

He broke into a cold sweat as he walked towards the second floor – the spot precisely half way between their common rooms – the pigmy suit of armour… He didn't want more, he just wanted her back. 'God, I hope she knows that' he thought as he rounded the corner to see her standing by the miniscule suit.


	7. Slytherins

**AN: I think that this song very much applies to Snape's entire life, the words are simple but sweet. It all begins here - and that is why I chose this song... That and it's lovely ^_^**

**Jon Brion – Strings That Tie To You : youtube .com/watch?v=Lr8EGyJOpZc&feature=related **

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**4th year - April 25th**

Lily saw him walk towards the spot that they had met for the last 3 years – they joked that it was their 'middle ground'. He was looking at her with those unblinking eyes, and they had a kind of intensity behind them. She was worried about this – what would happen? She hadn't rehearsed or anything. Suddenly this seemed silly – she had never had to 'rehearse' to talk to Sev. He reached her.

"Lily, all I can say is that I'm sorry, it slipped out – you know I don't think you're," he paused, "you're _less_..." He trailed off, searching her face for an inkling as to how she felt. His eyes were too intense. She glanced around; out the window at the whomping willow, which was creaking and swaying its branches in the wind.

"It's OK." She said finally, looking back at him. "I know you didn't mean it – it's just the people that you're hanging around with," She looked him right in the eye, "The use that kind of language." Snape looked shiftily at his shoes, "I don't like it, and I don't want to hear it again, but I also understand that you have to fit in with the people around you." He looked back at her green eyes, which were sincere – she wasn't just making a point.

"Which I know isn't always me."

She touched his face lightly, and then walked away, back towards her common room. Snape didn't feel anything. The happiness he felt that she had forgiven him was suddenly countered by the horrible feeling that she had just said a kind of goodbye.


	8. The Badge

**7th year - August 20th**

"LOOK!" yelled Lily, standing in the kitchen with her open letter on the table, and held up the bright silver 'HG' badge, "Mum, Dad, Tuney! I'm head girl!" her parents were quick to crowd around and give Lily hugs and praise, however, Lily merely looked past them to the figure that was sitting stock-still in the arm chair with her gaze resolutely fixed on the screen of the television.

"Tuney?" Enquired Lily, cautiously as her parent's affection subsided. Petunia rose from her chair and stalked out of the room.

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Lily knocked tentatively on her sister's door with some camomile tea firm in her grasp. She couldn't deny the offering of tea! Not after all the times they had spent cross-legged on their beds chatting away into the small hours of the morning. There was no answer, but Lily just nudged the door open and wafted the smell inside.

"That's right," Lily goaded, "it's camomile… you know you want it…" Lily sighed in frustration. "I know you're not asleep Tuney, come on, please?" There was a pause;

"Alright then," Petunia grumbled, "if you must." Lily grinned and pushed the door in. Petunia's mouth twitched as she observed her sister hobbling in with two teacups and saucers, tripping over her _still_ too-long dressing gown given to her by her batty old godmother four Christmases ago. Lily sat on the floor by her sister's bed and looked up at her face, which was still so much colder than the lively one of her youth.

"So." Said Petunia briskly. The word didn't encourage conversation, it merely invited something of an explanation, speech or apology.

"So." Responded Lily. She was not going to play this power game.

"Well?" Demanded Petunia after a more than awkward pause.

"Well what?" Lily inquired innocently.

"Well, it was you that came in here, so what do you want?" spat Petunia, angry at her sister's contented face.

"For you to drink some tea, that's all," Lily nodded towards the untouched cup. Petunia took a sip of the scalding tea and was soothed the way only camomile could accomplish. After another long pause where Petunia took a few more swigs, she said,

"I don't know what you want from me… It's great and whatever that you got that thing from your place, but I don't know what it's to do with me."

"You're my sister Tuney, I want you to be proud of me, or happy for me, the way I am for you"

"Yes, well…" Tuney acknowledged reluctantly.

"Besides, Mum tells me you have a _boyfriend_" Lily probed, "That's exciting huh?" Petunia couldn't help but smile. She had net a boy in the year above her in school about 3 months ago,

"Justin," she admitted. She couldn't help but feel a little proud.

"Is he cute?" Lily continued to probe, shuffling closer to her sister.

"Well his father is a banker, and he's got a huge house – you should see it –" suddenly Petunia had a horrible sense that something wasn't right "and … and" she knew that she was angry with Lily, but for some reason she couldn't feel it right now – it was as if Lily had tricked her into a happy mood, she slowed her speech to a stand still. Suddenly she knew. "Lily, what is in this tea," she said in a level, slow voice.

"Ummm," staggered Lily, her face was giving everything way – she never was a good liar.

"You _drugged_ me!" Shrieked Petunia, "no, worse – you _cursed _me!"

"Tuney no! I only–"

"Get OUT! Get out of my room you _rodent, _you _weasel!_"

Her enraged sibling was pushing Lily forcefully out of the door, her enraged sibling shrieking about betrayal, but as soon as the latch clicked, there was silence except for choking and gagging coming from the other side of the door. Lily ran sobbing across the landing and back to her room.


	9. The Hogwarts Express

**7th Year - September 1st**

Lily changed into her school robes as soon as she got on the train, dizzy from the excitement of putting on her Head Girl badge. She came out of the bathroom of the prefect's compartment with her new badge pinned neatly on the front-most fold of her robes. She hadn't taken so much as a couple of steps however, when she bumped into a large body, which was balancing various snacks in its arms. Pumpkin pasties and Every Flavour Beans flew in every direction from the impact.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Squealed Lily, just as the various items of foodstuff froze in the air as if time had stopped. The wizard straightened up, having flicked his want to pause the flying food. At his leisure, he turned to face the collide-ee.

"Don't worry about it Lily." Assured James Potter. She looked embarrassed – the whole carriage was watching the exchange now.

"Right." She spluttered. 'But wait, he isn't even supposed to be in here!' She thought as he began to levitate the food towards the table where Lupin – an _actual _prefect – was seated.

"Potter, wait, you're not supposed to be in here. This is the prefect's carriage, and _you_" she indicated, "are not a prefect"

Lily strode away haughtily from James but went a little pink around the ears as she seemed to be doing more and more these days. Lily slid into the seat beside Rachel who looked at her with a smile that was half mocking:

"Uh, Lily," she lowered her voice, "he's head boy…" and she let out an accidental giggle as James tilted his head slightly and smiled as if he had heard, but resisted the overwhelming urge to laugh.

Lily went bright red and delved her face into her palms.

"I'll _never _get rid of him now!"


	10. The Date

**OK, this is the first author's not in a while: I hope everyone is enjoying this, I will hopefully keep steadily updating, but I must say I am rather fickle. This is one of my favourites so far and the first I will give a song: ****Iron & Wine – Each Coming Night:**** youtube .com/watch?v=viXMXo1aG-Q **

**I want to clarify that this song goes with the actual date rather than the retelling, but I hope it could give you an indication of why Lily "drifts" into the room. I'll let your imaginations do the rest ^_^**

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**7th year - November 30th**

Lily drifted into the girl's dormitory where Rachel was sitting on her bed with bated breath.

"_Well! _How was it!" She could hardly stop her voice from squeaking with excitement. Lily visibly altered her expression into something akin to 'aloof cool', but she could never pull off that sort of face – it was too honest and it betrayed her. Her mouth twitched.

"It was nice." She admitted, trying to keep her voice indifferent; but in saying it she grinned foolishly.

"You don't fool me Evans – tell me absolutely everything!"

"Ok, well, first off: I have absolutely NO idea where he took me." Rachel looked quizzical – "That is to say that I have no idea what kind of place it _could _have been! 'Magical' doesn't even cover it…" Lily could see that Rachel was about to shriek with sympathetic joy, so lily hurried to clarify- "and I mean that in the literal sense; I have no idea what kind of charm he could have used, but one moment I was blindfolded and quite certain I was in the castle, and the next… Well, it was so strange – I was in a field by a river and there were flowers everywhere, and big oak trees, and the middle of the day, and I could have sworn it was _spring._" Rachel's expression had travelled slowly from quizzical to awed, back to confused, and now she just looked dumbfounded.

She said slowly, "You… you do realise that it is January… That's a pretty early spring… and it's also reaching midnight now…"

"Yes, yes. I'm not an idiot, these things had occurred to me" Lily rolled her eyes at her slow friend.

"Well OK then," pressed Rachel, "we'll come back to that later, but what actually _HAPPENED?_" She was nearly hysterical with anticipation.

"Well," started Lily with a twinkle in here eye and leaned in close to Rachel as if about to embark on an epic tale of romance. She whispered: "it wouldn't be very polite to kiss and tell now would it…" She grinned and got up. "I'm off to bed - night Rach."

She left Rachel in a state of half annoyance, half confusion, and half dreamy-eyed imaginings.

James swaggered into the dormitory.

"Well?" Enquired Lupin, looking up from his potions book.

"WELL?" Insisted Padfoot, gladly casting the many rolls of parchment on his lap (which James was sure was their long overdue History of Magic essay) aside. Pettigrew grunted in his sleep.

"You were right Moony – good call on the room of requirement."


	11. Constant Questioning

**AN: This is such a perfect song, Lily is definitely thinking this. And it's an awesome song to boot: ****The Hives – Try It Again**** : youtube .com/watch?v=x_NESyzbNZ8 **

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**4th Year - December 2nd**

"Go with me."

James Potter leaned casually against the wall where Lily was looking at the poster of the School Ball after transfiguration. She gave him a withering look and turned to go.

"So that's a maybe?" James started at her sudden movement and scuffled to keep up with her. A little bit of his cool air had dissipated and his cocky one-sided smile had faltered.

"Go with me," He repeated, "everyone expects it – we'd look great together." She continued to stalk away without looking back and James had to take long strides to keep up with her.

"Go with me." He kept saying it, following her through corridors and up staircases. Suddenly he was forcefully halted.

"What the!" He staggered as his foot fell though the vanishing step. "Aw come on babe, help me out here – I'm stuck in the-"

"For the last exasperated, bored and in all other ways tedious _time – _do not. EVER. Call me 'Babe'" She had wheeled around haughtily, her green eyes ablaze the way no others could be.

James grinned his one sided grin, if a little sheepishly, "at least you're talking now…"

"And so while I have you here I want to make one thing inescapably clear: I am neither you're pet, nor you're girlfriend; I am not you're inferior or conquest; I would thank you kindly if you would leave your condescending remarks firmly rattling around your own head, since I am sure there is nothing else filling it. I _beg _you to leave me alone. I'm not delusional and neither are you – we both know that there are plenty of girls that would be happy to have you annoy _them _endlessly, so please – for the love of god – do _that _rather than embarrassing yourself and _me_ with this ridiculous game. I find you pathetic and tragically immature. I won't even _start _on your tendency for cruelty, especially against Sev. I could _never _like a bully; so, in short: NO, I will _not _go to that ridiculous ball with you."

She was pink in the face and people had stopped on both the halls above and below as well as the stairs in order to witness this outburst, but she held her head up and stalked away leaving James looking completely nonplussed as to what just happened.


	12. The Sweeter Alternative

**AN: This is by far my favourite chapter so far! ... hence the length **  
**MUSIC: We're moving for the instrumentals in this chapter**

**This is _specifically _to start when I put this little do-dah in • it doesn't cover much of the chapter but it's worth it: Ray LaMontagne – Truly, Madly, Deeply : youtube .com/watch?v=2eW7SswawHM it is absolutely beautiful.**

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**The Sweeter Alternative - 4****th**** year – December 20****th**

"The ball?"

"Yeah Sev, the freaking Christmas Ball. _The _ball, you idiot. You coming or not?" Snape's friends guffawed at their friend's apparent slow-wittedness. His stomach writhed at the thought of such a thing.

"What's up with you Snape? You look ill," His friends looked derisively at each other, "You haven't been hanging around that mudblood too much have you?" Questioned Avery.

"Maybe he's caught something!" Chuckled Blaine in agreement and they all backed away from him mockingly. Snape thought quickly and used this to his advantage. As coolly as he could:

"Don't be so stupid," he drawled, "of course I don't 'hang around' with her – I'm just using her to finish my homework for the time being… Know-it-all little brat," he added begrudgingly. The general crowd laughed in agreement but Blaine still looked skeptical.

"You're right though, I _am _feeling rotten – a doxy maybe, I think there was one in the dorm last night." _Don't be too specific Severus_ he thought "… or something," he added rather lamely.

"OK then, so you're _not _going?" Clarified Avery.

"No."

The crowd began to depart and Snape heard Blaine quietly whisper: "couldn't get a date, eh? I'll bet he asked his precious mudblood." At that, Severus quietly confounded him from behind and watched him satisfactorily bump into the wall in confusion. _Let's see him try and chat up any girls in _that _state, _Snape thought, sneering.

The dormitory was empty. Snape relaxed in the absence of everyone and rather enjoyed his solitude. He wondered down to the common room where the fire blazed – again, there wasn't a soul around. He spread his books around him and started to cross-reference interesting spells and their theory in order to possibly create new ones – he had already succeeded twice, but he was moving beyond the little things, he wanted a signature spell… Images of Potter in writhing agony floated pleasantly in his mind… The question was – _how to reach that end?_

Suddenly there was a knocking that cut the silence but for the cracking fire. Lily fell into the room seconds later.

"Sheesh!" She exclaimed, "Not half an inconspicuous bit o' wall you have for an entrance! I was muttering all over two blooming corridors!" Snape sat there – stunned at her sudden appearance. "Well don't just sit there looking all gormless! Say hi, or smile, or curtsey or _something_ Sev!"

"You're drunk." He said, mouth twitching a little, but otherwise keeping a stern face.

"Oh hush!" She said beginning to circle the room, stumbling only very slightly. "Bloody dreary place you live in Sevy," she commented as if she was commenting on the weather. She hadn't called him Sevy since first year and his stomach jolted a little at the sound of it. He didn't say a thing but watched her go once around the room and then plop down opposite him. She didn't say any more, just sat there looking into his eyes.

Looking unspeakably beautiful.

Her long red hair that he loved so much was tied up, showing off her long neck. In almost four years of knowing Lily Evans, he had never seen her wear it up – she looked almost vulnerable. Elegant did not give her justice in her long, deep purple dress robes, but she also looked a little uncomfortable as if embarrassed by her attempt at sophistication.

"Why a' you always so serious?" She questioned after a long pause. Snape was taken aback.

"I'm not," he retorted defensively and looked away. Lily clearly realized that she had hurt him and immediately started apologizing:

"I'm so sorry Sev, that came out all wrong, I didn't mean it, what I meant was… well what I meant was…" She shuffled in a wobbly sort of fashion so that she was sitting next to him and gave him a one armed hug. She continued: "What I meant was… Well actually that's exactly what I meant!" and she giggled at this longwinded, full-circle conclusion. "Now you mustn't take it the wrong way Sevy, but what I mean is that you have this hard ol' exterior shell that nobody can get through, even though I _know_ you're a lovely person!" Severus just looked at her, turning his face awkwardly to face hers.

"Not with you," he said plainly, "never with you, I–" She cut him off:

"Well yes, _obviously _not with me," she replied as if this went without saying, "but really Sev, I wish you would be nicer around my friends, I mean they really can't understand why I hang out with you and that's a real shame because I miss you a lot of the time." Lily closed her eyes lazily and rested her head on his shoulder; apparently she had worn herself out. _She misses me? _Snape wondered how much she had drunk.

_Wait a minute_– "Lily how did you know where to find the common room? And how did you know I was in here?" Suddenly she was up again:

"Oops," she muttered, putting a hand to her head, "almost dozed off." She looked at him and pondered the only half heard question. "OH! Um, well I saw Black and Lupin looking at an old piece of parchment which I think told them something about who was in the castle and where because I eaves dropped and they said… well they pointed out that you were in the common room… alone." She looked sheepishly and looked away. Snape could just picture Black's sneer _"Oh look – Snivelly is hunkering down in Slytherin all alone tonight like the greasy goblin he is!"_

"Right, except–" She cut him off again.

"You told me the password was 'Salazar' yesterday when you told me Kenny Smith couldn't pronounce it so you had to keep letting him i–– SULLS Sev! You have _skulls _on the walls!" She made a face, "that's disgusting."

There was another pause.

• "Why aren't you at the ball now then?" Sev asked as her head made to fall on his shoulder again. She jerked it up and made another face, "boys are stupid" she asserted. This seemed a rather tangential remark to Severus. "Besides, she went on, finally allowing her head it's longed for rest on his shoulder, "There's always an alternative to these sorts of 'ball' things, and you never know which one will be sweeter…"

She closed her eyes again.

"You should try fire whiskey Sevy." Lily yawned, her hand slipped from her lap onto his while shifting her weight into a more comfortable position. She leaned more heavily on his shoulder as if she was settling to go to sleep. Her hand brushed his quite accidentally, and before he knew it, he was holding her slim fingers in his pale ones. She gripped his hand ever so slightly in approval as she fell asleep.

She began to mutter indistinguishable words between her long slow breaths…

He couldn't leave her sleeping like this – even if she left early, the ball wouldn't go on forever – the other Slytherins would be back and break in on his own little portion of heaven.

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**I hope you enjoyed reading that as much as I enjoyed writing it ^_^;**


	13. Belle of the Ball

**AN: I really hope everyone is enjoying these. I like writing them, but I would love to hear your thoughts! Please review ^_^**

**This is the first chapter you really hear what James thinks of Lily.**

**- enjoy**

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**4th year - December 20th**

The ball was in full swing and the butter beer was flowing… or at least that's what the teachers thought. Little did they know that Fiona Sterling had smuggled in a crate of fire whiskey into the castle. And every drop had been drunk. There were more than a few Gryffindors stumbling more than they should be. Naturally, James, Sirius and Pettigrew were three – It was a couple nights before the full moon, so Lupin was strictly sober.

"This party _blows_" Padfoot commiserated as he slumped in a seat next to Wormtail, "Yeah," he agreed automatically, his watery eyes fixed on Grace Wittern who was laughing among other Hufflepuffs. "Moony!" Called Sirius, distracting him from the dark night sky above the great hall, "enough of the moon-watching you crazy wolf it's another two days yet – how about these girls then? Eh?" Padfoot encouraged Lupin to look around and take in the crowd.

"They're very pretty, I must say," Sirius' face crumpled in utter confusion at his best friend's words but then cracked open a wide grin that consumed his whole face.

"Honestly Moony, it's like you were raised in another century!" Sirius was still chortling when James slumped in the seat between Moony and Padfoot.

"Well to hell with _her!_" Lupin and Sirius exchanged exasperated looks; this always seemed to be the start of James' sentences these days.

"Did she tell you to get lost?" Sirius goaded

"Or pack it in?" Lupin added

"Eat dung perhaps?"

"Jump into the lake?"

"ALRIGHT, _alright,_ cut it out," James sulked. His eyes were still fixed on Lily who was chatting animatedly to her friends, the recent encounter with James didn't seem to shake her at all, despite what she called him and what she told him to go do. _Unbelievable_.

James watched, with another butter beer in his hand as all of four guys approached her in ten minutes! To his satisfaction though, she denied all of them a dance: Richard Denton, Will Jennings, Jack MacBeth _and_ Mike Perkins walked away crestfallen. There was no mistaking her radiance, tonight more than ever. Wisps of soft red hair escaped from the elegant bun, and she moved with a modest grace that clearly showed vulnerability. She clearly had not expected her sudden popularity with the opposite sex and it made her ever so slightly introverted. He noticed these things, not because he was besotted with her, which was quite clear to everyone, but because (though he would rather die than admit it to anyone) he was _utterly _in love.

Eventually James calmed down and began to enjoy the party just in the company of his three best friends. They practiced silent spells on passers by, mostly itching charms, which were particularly funny.

"Nice – you confunded Blaine I see, the toe rag," Sirius congratulated James, and Lupin looked stern as Blaine ripped a girl's robes by stumbling onto them.

"Wasn't me unfortunately, looks like a fine job though – he has _no _idea what's going on" The group laughed derisively as Blaine lost himself in a Christmas tree.

"Ok, I'm bored again," declared Sirius, "all the girls here are boring, let's see if there are any in the common room to hunt," he flashed a boyish grin. Pettigrew got up to leave but was grabbed by Sirius – "come on Wormtail, don't be dim – we have the map."

"Well there is only one girl I want and she aint in the common room – I'ma get another butter beer" James slurred. He got up and headed away. Pettigrew was suddenly reminded of Grace Wittern and looked around the hall as Padfoot and Moony bent over the parchment.

"Good lord, look who's in the Slytherin common room alone," commented Moony.

"The lousy grease-ball finally getting the idea that nobody wants him around – that's what I like to see." There was a crash behind them that made all three look around. Lily had tripped over a chair and lay sprawled momentarily on the floor. In a flash the map was away, but even quicker than that, Prongs was at her side, trying to help her up.

"Get _off _me for god's sake, would you just get a _grip _Potter!" She finally steadied herself and stalked out of the great hall, leaving James looking decidedly vulnerable in being scolded for a rare act of concern. That was quickly gone however, and his scowl was resolutely back on his face.

"That is _it_! I have had enough of being treated like this!" Again, Prongs' fellow marauders glanced at each other amusement – another classic line from their love-struck friend.


End file.
